


Golden Boy and iPod Girl

by HawkyBarton



Series: OTP and Fanfic Brigade (Prompts galore) [28]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Clint is a terrible narrator, Clint is an idiot, F/M, Fluff, Get Together, M/M, Phil only barely tolerates him, Wade Wilson you stop breaking the 4th wall dammit, no powers au, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3644433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkyBarton/pseuds/HawkyBarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The new superhero duo: Golden Boy and iPod Girl. Steve Rogers and Darcy Lewis, under the names of Golden Boy and iPod Girl will save the day with their incredibly annoying UST. It's up to the supervillians of our tale: Archery Man, Pencil Pusher, Red the assassin, Buck the Bear, Stark Man, Pepper PotWoman, and a few others to get them to FUCKING GET TOGETHER ALREADY"</p>
<p>"Clint, we are NOT in a comic book!"</p>
<p>              ~~>The story of Darcy and Steve Rogers. <br/>                     As narrated by Clint Barton............. (and Phil Coulson) </p>
            </blockquote>





	Golden Boy and iPod Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Anon asked: College AU The Avengers trying to get Steve and Darcy together.

Clint looked at Phil and Natasha, “You know we have to do it”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “Have a threesome? Didn’t we try that after graduation and it was a disaster?”

Clint shook his head, “Nooooooo! No, not that. Never that. That was.... that was bad. I’m talking about getting Golden Boy and iPod Girl together”

Phil sighed, “You know we don’t live in a comic book right? That would just be ridiculous”

“No it wouldn’t!” Wade Wilson (how he magically appeared, no one will ever know) called out as he walked by.

Clint just blinked and looked at him before shaking his head, “Seriously. I can not _stand_ their UST for one more moment. Please tash, talk to you Russian assassin boyfriend so we can get them together?”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “It’s gonna take a lot more than Bucky and us three to get them together”

Clint smirked, “That’s why I’m calling in the Avengers”

“Not a comic book!” Phil had to insert

Natasha and Pepper both rolled their eyes. Pepper reached over and lifted Darcy back up, “Come on Darce. The party is this Saturday at Thor and Jane’s place. I know you were going because you were Jane’s maid of honor, but don’t back out now because Steve is gonna be there. Maybe he’ll finally ask you out!”

Darcy rolled her eyes, “Like that’ll happen. 

*******

Steve Rogers looked over at his best friend, Bucky. “Come again?”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “No man. It’s gonna be great. We’re having a going away party for Jane and Thor. It’ll be a blast, I promise”

Steve sighed, “You know I don’t like parties Buck”

Bucky sighed, “Yeah I know. Trisha still haunting your dreams or whatever. But, hey! Lewis is gonna be there, I know how you’ve been wanting to ask her out for ages”

Steve blushed and shoved at Bucky’s shoulder, “So what if I have? Its not like she’s gonna say yes if I do... We’re leagues away from each other”

Bucky sighed, “I wouldn’t be so sure bro... Why don’t you come to the party anyway? I promise it will be fun”

Steve looked at Bucky, “Am I allowed to say no?”

Bucky smirked, “Nope”

Steve sighed again, “Then I would love to go”

Bucky laughed and clapped his hand against Steve’s shoulder, “Atta boy”

 

*******

Darcy groaned and smacked her head against the table she was sitting out, “Stop dangling him in front of me guys. It’s not fair”

Pepper and Natasha looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Reaching over, Pepper lifted Darcy back up. “You were Jane’s maid of honor, you should be there at their going away party. Don’t be a bitch and not go because Steve is gonna be there, and don’t say you weren’t thinking about not going. I know you Darcy Lewis”

Darcy sighed, “I will go, I will! I just... It hurts to see Steve. Like, I see him and think ‘wow we could be so much more’ but I just know he doesn’t see me that way. Which, like, that’s fine - he’s not required to mirror what I’m feeling... I just... want him to... a lot.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “And what’s to say he doesn’t?”

Darcy’s eyes widened. “You’re joking right? There is _no_ way Steve sees me that way. Surely he would have said something by now!”

Pepper smirked, “Well if that’s so... Why haven’t you?”

Darcy blinked, “Because... because... aw, fuck. I don’t know”

Natasha chuckled, “Maybe Steve is feeling some I don’t know too. Go to the party Darcy, see what happens”

Darcy sighed, “Since I don’t have a choice? Sure”

Natasha and Pepper grinned, “Atta girl”

 

~

_“And thus, the supervillians have hatched their evil plan! The Avengers (the sexiest supervillians in town) are all set to finally get Golden Boy and iPod Girl togeth-”_

_“CLINT STOP NARRATING TO THIN AIR”_

 

~

Steve arrived at the going away party for Thor and Jane’s honeymoon (thank god they just hit spring break. Thor and Jane had been waiting for this since the last day of winter break.... But that’s another story) and was immediately grabbed by Tony Stark.

“Hey buddy, old pal, how ya doing?”

Steve blinked, “Uhm... Fiiiiiine?”

Tony smirked, “Of course you’re fine! This is a party! Speaking of fiiiine, is that a certain Darcy Lewis I see next to Jane?”

Steve couldn’t help that his head whipped around so fast he almost killed himself. And, there she was. Gorgeous as always in a blue flowery dress that showed off her every curve in a surprisingly modest way. _Hell, that was Darcy to a tee._

Tony clapped him o the back, “You should ask her out bro. Seriously, before someone else does”

Steve didn’t like that tone Tony used, “What have you heard?”

Tony shrugged, “Just that Johann Schmidt thinks Darcy is ‘smokin’ and he wouldn’t mind ‘tappin it like he owned’“

Steve growled, “Like hell he will. Over my dead body!”

Tony chuckled, “There ya go Stevie! Now, go get that girl!”

Steve nodded, “Yeah…. Yeah”

 

~

_“And so, with the evil thoughts from the villian Stark Man in his head. Our super hero, Golden Boy, is finally gonna get the balls to ask out iPod Girl. Now, we go to Archery Man and the Paper Pusher who are-”_

_“Clint, knock it off! Darcy is coming over, **right now** ”_

 

_~_

Darcy raised her eyebrows, “Uh… You okay you two?”

Clint just bounced on his toes (energetic asshole), “Totally okay. Tottaaaally okkaaay”

Phil rolled his eyes and smacked the back of Clint’s head, “We’re okay Darcy. How are you? I see Steve is making his way over to us”

Darcy gasped and spun around to see that they were right! “Shit, shit, shit. What do I do? _Whhat do I do?”_

Phil and Clint came up on either side of her. “Breathe first Darce” Phil said softly, “Second, fix your dress you’re about to flash the poor boy”

Clint snickered as Darcy rushed to fix her boobage. “There you go. Have fun Darcy, don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do” 

Clint and Phil then began to walk away, but Darcy called out after Clint and Phil, “There’s nothing you wouldn’t do!”

Clint shouted back to her, “I know!”

And then there was Steve Rogers.

“Uh… hey Darcy”

Darcy gulped, “Hey Steve”

 

~

_“And thus our two heroes of this tale fell victim to the supervillians plot. The Avengers had won in this battle against Golden Boy and iPod Girl. The duo were now currently making out on the dance floor and-”_

 

“CLINT FRANCIS BARTON, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MURDER YOU”

 

~

Darcy and Steve blinked as Phil chased Clint around the room while the other man screamed, “THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER”

 

The End.

 

__“Or is it?”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> ((You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask)))


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